Thursday, May 13, 2010

15 Reasons To Buy A New Sofa!

You know it's time to buy a new sofa from Landfair Furniture + Design Gallery when

1. There's a large red tag on it marked "Evidence".

2. The cushions begin crawling away.

3. The fabric on the back has been repaired with a "Vote for Sam Adams" bumper sticker.

4. What you thought was powdered sugar from a doughnut appears to be moving.

5. It appears to have reached its present location by being dragged several miles on its side.

6. You seem reluctant to actually sit on or touch it

7. There are mushrooms growing on the back.

8. It seems to generate its own heat.

9. Stuffing is protruding from bullet holes.

10. There appears to be more duct tape than vinyl on the cushions.

11. It has a faint smell of ammonia.

12. You can occasionally pause to pick things off of it and nosh before the TV .

13. It appears to have been spray-painted its present color.

14. You hear scampering noises inside.

15. Under the cushions you find:

+ half a bottle of ketchup
+ empty shotgun shells
+ an entire squirrel skeleton
+ Jimmy Hoffa's wallet
+ a glass eye
+ ticket stubs from the 1939 World's Fair

Hat tip to Chris Blippit

Bev & Mike
Landfair Furniture + Design gallery
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