Sleeping Alone

For years society has struggled with a name for two same sex adults committed to each other. Is it "marriage" or "civil union" or something else. Now the NY Times has highlighted another conundrum. What do you call the room where couples go to "cuddle" who are married but do not sleep together?

In a story To Have, Hold and Cherish, Until Bedtime,

Not since the Victorian age of starched sheets and starchy manners, builders and architects say, have there been so many orders for separate bedrooms. Or separate sleeping nooks. Or his-and-her wings.

[...]

In a survey in February by the National Association of Home Builders, builders and architects predicted that more than 60 percent of custom houses would have dual master bedrooms by 2015, according to Gopal Ahluwalia, staff vice president of research at the builders association. Some builders say more than a quarter of their new projects already do.

Most couples are not giving up sex, but can't sleep together because of snoring or different schedules or babies crying or just can't sleep in the same room.

Not everyone wants to talk about it. Many architects and designers say their clients believe there is still a stigma to sleeping separately. Some developers say it is a delicate issue and call the other bedroom a “flex suite” for when the in-laws visit or the children come home from college. Charles Brandt, an interior designer in St. Louis, said, “The builder knows, the architect knows, the cabinet maker knows, but it’s not something they like to advertise because right away people will think something is wrong” with the marriage.

Maybe instead of master suite they are "owners’ suites" or "couples’ realms". Sure, you might sleep better at night, alone, but I like my husband's warm body next to me on those cold nights and I like to be able to say something to him in the middle of the night when I know he's awake. If he's away from home, I can't sleep with my back to the door.

Besides, I didn't marry until I was 41. I've had enough of sleeping alone, thank you!

In a related story BBC writes that Bed sharing with your mate 'drains men's brains'. What an unfortunate choice of words.



Bev & Mike
Landfair Furniture + Design Gallery